How Trying To Find A Therapist Is Like Calling The Cable Company

It may sound strange to compare the two, but there really is a similar feeling. You know you need to call and that it is important to call and get help, but it can be so hard to pick up the phone and call. Now, the hesitation is likely for different reasons, but both are very difficult calls to make.

So Why Is It So Hard To Call A Therapist?

Many reasons may be part of it including it being hard to ask for help, being worried they won’t understand, maybe fear of being judged, or even fear of what they may tell you. Or maybe it’s something else that concerns you. The important thing to know is that not every counselor is a fit for every client, and that’s ok. Just like not everyone you date is a good fit for a life partner.

But how do you know when a therapist is a good fit for you?

This in some ways may depend on a particular expertise your looking for, but often it comes down to your preferences- do you like someone to give feedback in a very direct way or do you like to be given examples to help your understand something or do you learn best by visuals or experiencing the coping skill in the moment?

Therapy is a very personal choice so it should be with someone you can connect with and who helps in a way you learn best. Don’t be afraid to ask how they help or express how you learn best. Most therapists welcome this information and are very willing to explain their approaches to helping.

I hope this helps you find the right therapist to help you in Eureka. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening for you and help direct you to the right person to help you. If you are looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I can help here.

Do I Have Traumatic Grief?

Grief is probably one of the hardest things we cope with in our lives especially when we have more than one loss in a short time span. It can include many things beyond grief over a death such as when we lose a relationship and feel abandoned, in divorce, times when we feel disconnected, or even for some other reasons. We all tend to grieve differently too. Grief often includes intense feelings of sadness, anger, fear, and anxiety. The fear and anxiety usually relate to being afraid of being hurt again.

So How Does Grief Become Traumatic?

Grief can become traumatic when the loss is sudden or shocking. Traumatic grief includes the above as well as trauma symptoms or the emotional distress of numbness, intrusive thoughts (thoughts of the loss when you don’t want to think about it), disbelief, distrust, anger, emptiness, and a sense of futility about the future. Sometimes it may feel as if almost every aspect of your life has been altered in painful ways from how you sleep, eat, socialize, exercise, work, act with your family, or even how you listen to music.

So What Do I Do If I Have This?

Partially, you will grieve from the loss as you usually do, but you will also want to utilize trauma approaches to address the fear and/ or feeling frozen in fear when triggered. Trauma approaches that can help with this are: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT), and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, among others. EMDR and Sensorimotor use a “bottom up” approach (meaning focused on body sensation, movement, or on the five senses rather than thinking). This can be helpful as trauma is often stored in the body as body memories. Trauma is often noticed as body sensations that don’t make sense initially. This helps to begin to self regulate again and reduce stress and tension. This also helps with fight, flight, or freeze reactions too, especially one where you do not know why you are reacting.

I hope this helps you find the right therapist in Eureka. If you are still feeling stuck or have more questions about this, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening for you and help direct you to the right person to help you. If you are looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I help here.

Who is Counseling For? How Do I Know If It’s Right For Me?

Many people have a very specific sense of who counseling is for and who it is not for. So often I hear people say I can’t go to therapy, I’m not crazy, that’s for people who are crazy. Or they will say only people who need medication go to counseling.

The stigma around mental health services is real and often stops people from seeking the help they may need to heal and get better.

The truth is that counseling is for anyone that could benefit from learning skills to help them manage daily stresses, their thoughts and feelings, and past hurts that are getting in the way of having the life you want to have today.

I hope this information helps you find the right therapist whether you choose to do in person therapy on online counseling. If you are still feeling stuck or have questions, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening in your life and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or counseling for trauma or PTSD, you can read more about how I can help here.

Top 7 Truths About Online And In Person Counseling In Eureka

What is the truth about counseling? How does it even work? How can I be sure it will help me? I often hear these questions and others from clients. It can be hard to know if counseling can help you if you don’t know the answers to these questions or questions like these. To help with this, below you will find some truths or facts about therapy that I think anyone considering therapy should know.

The Truth About Counseling:

Therapy Doesn’t Fix You

People often think therapy is quick fix for issues they are going through, but what therapy and the therapist does is create the best conditions for healing and growth to occur and then guides you through the process. The brain is designed to help us heal and grow, but sometimes something gets in the way of our natural healing and growth process and we need help working through what is getting in the way and to develop the skills we need. Successful therapy does not mean your cured so much as that you have the resources you need to deal with the ups and downs of life.

Not All Therapy Is The Same

Many people think all therapy is the same and although many aspects will be similar such as the therapist doing an assessment of your needs and explaining the limits of confidentiality, the truth is that some therapy types focus more on talking about issues, while others utilize art or play to work through issues. Some approaches like EMDR are able to help you work through feelings, thoughts, and feelings in the body that do not require you to fully explain what happened which a lot of people like. It’s often important to consider what your preference for therapy is and what you might find the most helpful.

There’s No “Aha” Moment- Progress Happens Gradually

In the movies, counseling is often shown with this great “aha” moment. But there’s no big eureka moment in therapy as healing is a journey not a destination. It’s more like a series of smaller break throughs.

Counselors Do More Than Just Talk and Listen

Therapy is based on a relationship of trust where you feel able to be open about your story. The therapist is then able to provide guidance and suggestions to help you on your path to healing and living a healthy and happy life.

Therapists Don’t Tell You What To Do

Counselors will offer guidance or suggestions and if they are helpful they can become part of your tool kit of things that help you cope. If they are not helpful, the therapist can help you change the strategy to make it more helpful or you can discard it and together find another strategy that is more beneficial.

Counseling Does Not Have To Focus On Your Childhood Or Any Other Areas You Don’t Want To Address

You might end up talking about these areas if its relevant, but it’s not required. It definitely won’t be the only thing discussed. We now have researched evidence based approaches that are not just talking and are practical and proven to help with particular issues. For example, EMDR and Play Therapy are proven techniques that help with a variety of issues but are known for helping when it’s hard to put how you feel in words.

Online Therapy Works Just As Well As In Person Therapy

Many people have questions around online therapy, but it has been shown to be just as effective as in person therapy. Most types of therapy can be done effectively online include EMDR and Somatic Therapy. However, some people do have a preference toward one way or the other. It’s important to feel able to be open and comfortable in counseling so if you have a preference that’s important to pay attention to.

I hope this helps you find the right therapist in Eureka or the right therapist for online therapy. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I can help here.

Myths About Therapy, Counseling, And Psychotherapy In Eureka

Myth or truth? It can often be hard to tell the difference between the two. This is because myths often start as truth or an experience someone had that got generalized. When in comes to counseling there are a lot of myths and many of them can stop people from getting the help they need as they can make counseling sound scary, uncomfortable, or unhelpful. This can make many people afraid to seek counseling even though it could help them. It is my hope that the following facts will help clarify some of these myths and show that counselors are here to help as I often hear people say they wanted to get help for a long time and they wish they had reached out sooner.

Counseling Myths And Truth:

Myth: No One Can Help Me Or Understand How I Feel Or What I Am Experiencing When I don’t Understand It.

Sometimes we can’t see things clearly when in the middle of the issue and talking to someone not living it can help provide clarity and help you better understand what is happening currently, how it relates to your past, and what you can do to change the pattern. It’s as if your vision is cloudy while in the middle of the situation and the therapist helps you figure out how to move the clouds so you can see the situation more clearly.

Myth: A Counselor Can’t Understand What I Am Going Through If They Have Not Experienced It Themselves.

It can be easy to think this may be true, but even if they did share a similar experience, we all experience things differently. This is why two people raised in the same childhood home can have very different memories and experiences. So it is often more important that the therapist is someone you can trust and be open with about your story than that they have similar experiences to you.

Myth: Asking For Help Is A Sign Of Weakness.

Actually, for most of us, asking for help is very difficult and it requires a lot of emotional strength to ask for help with problems that may be too overwhelming to cope with on your own.

Myth: Once You Start Counseling, You Have To Continue To Be In Counseling For A Long Time.

This often depends on what issues you want to work on and the type of therapy you are doing. Some types of therapy are designed to be more short term. For example, Eye Movement Densensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), resolves anxiety, depression, attachment issues, and traumas more quickly than many other types of therapy or approaches though this can vary somewhat depending on the history of the client (someone with a long history of past hurts will take longer than someone wanting to work on a few hurts).

Myth: Counselors Will Want You To Go On Medication.

This varies a lot by counselor. It is definitely an important question to ask during your free consultation. In general though, therapists do not provide medication support, you would need to see a doctor or psychiatrist for that and at most it would be a suggestion of something to explore if you are interesting in that.

I hope this has helped you better understand counseling and how it can help you. If you are still feeling stuck on how to find the right therapist for you, see my blog Finding A Good Counselor, Therapist, or Psychologist.

Or you can call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you’re looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I can help here. If you are more interested in online counseling, you can read more on how I can help with that here.

What To Expect From Online Or In Person Counseling In Eureka

Are you worried about what to expect from online or in person therapy? Do you wonder if it will even help you? That’s totally normal. Many people feel this way. What really even happens in online or in person therapy, anyway? And how can you be sure it will really help?

You may be nervous about going to counseling and likely have a lot of questions how therapy works. You are not alone, many clients have told me they feel this way and that they had a lot of questions. After all, isn’t it weird to talk to someone I don’t know about personal things going on in my life?

Sometimes, these questions have led people to hesitate to get therapy when they really felt they needed it. It is my hope that some of these questions will be answered by this post.

If you would like to better understand what counseling is, how it helps, and how to get the most out of your counseling so you can feel confident when you reach out to the therapists you are interested in working with, read on.

Questions About Therapy

What Is Therapy?

Online or in person therapy is a collaborative process with your counselor in which you identify the areas you want to improve on and strengths you want to build. The therapist helps you create a plan to do this so you can heal from your pain, reduce your symptoms, improve your relationships, and live the healthier life you’ve always wanted to.

How Can Talking To Someone I Don’t Know Help Me?

Strangely enough, it’s often because they aren’t family or a friend that they can help more. How often does a friend or family member give you good advice and you ignore it? We all do that. But when you are talking to someone who has studied how best to help others, it’s different. I can’t tell you how often someone tells me, “my friend said that too, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else.”

How Will I know It’s Helping Me?

The main way to tell if it’s helping is that you start to feel better. This may not mean you go from stressed out and depressed to happy right away. Often it means instead of constant anxiety and depression or PTSD symptoms, you have episodes or moments of these symptoms. It can also be that the intensity or how strong the feelings are reduce or they happen less often.

I Hear People Talking About Types Of Therapy- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Eye Movement Desensitization And Reprocessing (EMDR) To Name A Few, And This Is Confusing To Me, Does The Type Of Therapy Matter?

Studies say that the most important part is the relationship with your counselor and that you feel open and able to trust them with your story. That being said, some interventions are considered to be more helpful with certain issues. For example, EMDR though it is helpful with many issues is most well known for how it helps with trauma, anxiety, and depression. Likewise, CBT can help with many issues, but is most well known to help with thoughts, self criticism, and how this can lead to choices you later regret. Play Therapy and Art Therapy can help with many issues as well, but are particularly helpful when it is hard to put your pain into words. This is not a very thorough description of any of these therapy types though so you may want to further research each one if you are looking for a particular approach to therapy. For more information about the types of therapy I specialize in click on the following links: EMDR and TFCBT and Play and Art Therapy.

What Do I Do If I Don’t Connect Well With The Therapist Or The Counselor Isn’t A “Good Fit” For Me?

The best thing to do, if you are comfortable doing it, is to tell them as it is often something they can adjust such as if you learn better through practicing a skill in session rather than having them explain it and practicing it on your own. If they aren’t able to adjust to your needs, it’s best to let them know and look for a therapist that’s a better fit for you.

How Do I Make Sure The Therapist Is A “Good Fit” For Myself And My Family Or Myself And My Partner When We Are Ready To Do Family Therapy Or Couples Therapy?

It is very important the therapist is a good fit for all family members that you plan to have involved in family therapy or couples therapy as otherwise it can lead to the process becoming more difficult than it needs to be. Especially if one of the family members start to feel that the therapist is taking one person’s side. This happens when all family members do not feel able to trust the therapist. To avoid this, even if you don’t plan to start with family therapy, it’s important that each family member do the free consultation with the therapist and everyone be in agreement on the counselor the family chooses to work with. Sometimes, this means the therapist you choose for individual counseling may not be the same person you choose for family or couples therapy. In fact, most therapists recommend it, as it ensures the family or couples therapist can be objective, not take sides, and has no other information other than what has been shared as a family.

I hope this helps you find the right online or in person counselor for you in Eureka. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (707) 954-7060 for a free 15 minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with anxiety, depression, or trauma, you can read more about how I help here.

FAQs About Online Or In Person Therapy In Eureka, CA

Eureka is a beautiful place to live especially when we get one of those beautiful sunny days, but when it comes to finding help whether it’s through counseling, for a doctor, or you are looking for a specialist of some kind, it can be hard to find someone who understands and has the expertise you are looking for. Many people that live here even feel that they have to look out of county to find what they need. And in some cases this may be true, but we do have many great counselors in Eureka. You can look at my blog on Finding A Counselor In Eureka  for more information on that.

Once you have found a few therapists in Eureka that you are interested in contacting, you probably have a ton of questions- that’s totally normal. Seeking or asking for help can be difficult for many of us and it can be hard to take that first step, but having more information definitely helps! My goal in this post is to answer some frequently asked questions in the hope that contacting an online or in person therapist will feel less intimidating so that you can find the online or in person therapist that is the right fit for you.

The questions below are some questions I frequently get asked or questions I think it would be helpful to ask.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can Talking To A Therapist In Eureka Really Help Me? People usually decide to talk to a counselor when their pain overwhelms their ability to cope on their own and they recognize they need help. Part of the process of therapy is helping you to rediscover your strengths so you feel able to cope with life and it’s daily stressors again.

2. What Should I Be Looking For In An Online Or In Person Counselor? There are lots of good online or in person therapists doing all types of therapy. Studies say though, that it is the trusting relationship between the client and therapist that helps therapy be successful more than the technique the therapist used. This means there needs to be a “good fit” where you feel able to trust the therapist and be open about your story. If possible, do an initial phone consultation and ask if they have experience in helping people with similar issues or concerns to the ones you are calling about. If it goes well, schedule your first session.

3. How Will I Know If You Are The Right Therapist For Me? The only way to know for sure would be to do the initial free consultation and schedule a session if it feels like a good fit initially. Does the online or in person therapist seem like someone you could trust? Remember, a trusting relationship is what helps therapy to work. Most people can tell in the first couple sessions whether it is a good fit or not. You can also look at the online or in person therapist’s website, blog, and social media to find out more information.

4. What Kind Of Clients Do You Work With? While most online or in person therapists work with the majority of mental health issues, online or in person therapists also often have a specialty or area of expertise. For example, my specialty is working with individuals, children, teens, parents, and families that are experiencing anxiety, depression, and trauma.

5. What Can I Expect From Online Or In Person Counseling? Once you have decided to see a counselor in Eureka, you could still be nervous about the process. That’s completely normal, most people feel this way. Therapy is a journey, a shared path that you will take with your online or in person therapist, but ultimately it is your journey and you will be able to choose and guide what is best for you. As an online or in person therapist, I may not always have all the answers, but I will ask thoughtful questions and help you seek the resources you need. Your responses to these questions will help to shape our work. You can expect to be respected and that I will offer suggestions to help you make changes in your life, but I will not tell you what to do.

6. Will I Need To Be In Online Or In Person Therapy For A Long Time? How Often Will I Need To Have Online Or In Person Therapy? While as therapists, we learn various types of therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Play Therapy, EMDR), every client is different with different needs as far as how long online or in person therapy is needed for. For example, someone that is trying to resolve one trauma will likely get through the healing journey more quickly than someone with 15 traumas they are working through.

In terms of how often online or in person therapy needs to happen, I have found that weekly therapy is the most helpful in gaining momentum in working on issues. Those that come less often tend to have a slower healing process.

7. Can We Meet Virtually? Do You Provide Online Counseling? Yes, online therapy is available. Many therapists, myself included, are especially doing this during Covid-19. However, I provide this on a continuous basis. Online sessions can be done by phone or a secure video conferencing program such as Zoom, VSee, or Doxy.me.

I hope this helps you find an online or in person therapist that is a good fit for you in Eureka. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person that is best able to help you with what you need.

If you are looking for help with anxiety, depression, or trauma, you can read more about how I can help here.

Things To Ask An Online Or In Person Counselor Before The First Appointment

Questions To Ask An Online Or In Person Counselor, Therapist, or Psychologist In Eureka

What should you ask and what should you say.

You’ve decided you are ready to take that step of finding an online or in person counselor and you found a few in Eureka who seem nice and like they may be able to help you. All of them talk about doing a consultation, but what should you ask them? What should you say?

It can be hard to know what to say or ask to find an online or in person therapist or counselor that is a good fit for you and possibly your family if you are looking for couples or family therapy.

Here are the top questions that may be helpful to you.

Questions To Ask An Online Or In Person Therapist In Eureka:

1. My problem is _________________. How would you go about treating that?

2. What are your strengths as an online or in person therapist?

3. What the advantages and disadvantages of different treatment approaches to therapy?

4. How does the type of therapy you offer work?

5. What kinds of online or in person therapy or treatment do you think might help me?

6. How soon should I start to feel better? How will we assess my progress?

7. What should I do if I don’t feel better?

8. What is your philosophy on helping? Are you more directive or guiding?

9. How often would you want to see me? For how long? Will it be short-term on long-term therapy?

10. What is a typical session like?

11. Do you give reading or homework between sessions?

12. How long have you been practicing therapy? What are your specialties?

13. How many clients do you see that are similar to me?

14. How do I prepare for my first session?

15. Do you accept insurance?

I hope this helps you find the right online or in person therapist in Eureka. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with anxiety and trauma, you can read more about my specialties and how I can help here.

How Do I Find A Good Therapist In Eureka, CA?

While Eureka, CA, has it’s share of issues, it is also known for beautiful beaches, the redwood forest, agates, clams, and fishing.  There is a lot of beauty that surrounds us here.  However, just because Eureka isn’t a terrible place to live doesn’t mean life doesn’t come up and you don’t sometimes need support.  If you are looking for an online or in person counselor, therapist, or psychologist- I’d like to help you find someone who can help as finding a therapist that is a good fit for you can be difficult.

Here are some tips.

1.      Ask Someone You Know And Trust.  It could be a friend or family member, someone you know from work, your doctor, lawyer, pastor, or any other professional you have a relationship with that honors your confidentiality (won’t tell others what you say) is a good option.  If it is a friend or family member, just be sure they will be helpful and supportive, not intrusive.  If it is a professional, these are people that run businesses as many counselors or therapists do.  They are well connected in the community and refer to each other all the time.

By the way, when asking for a referral to an online or in person counselor or therapist, you do not have to go into any of the details of why you are looking for counseling unless you want to.  It’s enough to just say “I’m having some issues and I’d like to consult a therapist about it.  Do you recommend anyone?

2. Don’t Use The Yellow pages.  The yellow pages are expensive and a lot of good online or in person therapists or counselors aren’t there.  I’m not.  Plus there is no rules on who can list there.

3.      Ask A Therapist You Know Who They Recommend.  If you have a friend, friend of a friend, or family member that is a therapist, or knows a therapist, ask them for a referral.  Therapists refer to one another all the time. 

4.      Work.  Many work places have what is called Employee Assistance Programs (EAP).  These services are to provide counseling for employees as part of the employee’s benefits.  You can ask if your company has an EAP program for a set number of sessions (at no charge to you) and if you want to continue they will refer you to an online or in person therapist that takes your insurance.

5.      Your Insurance Company.   Many insurance companies have a helpful customer service department.  They should be able to suggest online or in person counselors or therapists who participate on their panel (which means they have already been checked out by the insurance company for all the right professional licenses and credentials) and likely can tell you who specialize in what you need.

6.      Use The Internet.  The difference between the web and the yellow pages is that, for a therapist, listing on reliable websites is not nearly as expensive AND reliable sites require a minimum of professional qualifications to be listed. Psychology Today (PT),  probably has one of the most comprehensive listings in the US.  They contract with other trustworthy sites like WebMD and this website to provide their list to their readers.  A therapist cannot list with them unless they have an advanced degree in a counseling field and an up to date professional license or certification.

A good listing on PT provides you with information regarding the professional’s qualifications, what areas of expertise they have, and how long they have been a therapist or in private practice.  They should also have practical stuff like phone numbers, email address, where their office is located, office hours, and whether they accept insurance.  

7.      Do A Google Search.  Once you have a few names, go ahead and google them.  If they have a blog or a website, explore them!  Often you can get a sense of who they are or the type of online or in person therapist they are by what they write or what is written about them. 

Telehealth And Telephone.  If you live in an area where it is difficult to find a mental health professional locally, you can always turn to telehealth sessions using the telephone or HIPAA compliant video conferencing programs such as VSEE, Microsoft Teams, or doxy.me.  There are other video programs such as Skype, FaceTime, Zoom, and Google Hangouts that have been temporarily approved  during Covid-19 to improve accessibility as well.  While online counseling is a specialized service on the cutting edge, there are online therapists world wide providing online counseling. 

One Last Thought In Your Search For An Online Or In Person Therapist:  Try to gather at least two to three names.  That way you can have choices if one doesn’t work out or just doesn’t suit you.   

I hope this helps you find the right online or in person therapist in Eureka, CA.  If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute phone consultation.

I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person.  If you are looking for help with anxiety or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I can help Parents With PTSD and Trauma and Kids.