5 Tips On How To Help A Loved One Cope With Their Anxiety
Helping someone you love cope with anxiety can be a complicated issue as we are all different in how we experience anxiety, stress, or worry, and in what helps us feel better, but here are some general helpful tips on how to be supportive to someone with anxiety.
Listen With An Open Mind And Avoid Phrases That Could Feel Like They Are Being Rejected or Judged. Some examples of phrases to avoid might be “why do you feel that way?” or “that doesn’t make any sense.” People with anxiety often already feel something is wrong with them so this can trigger higher anxiety and cause them to not feel supported or understood.
Ask What You Can Do To Help Them Cope Better. This is often specific to the person. For instance, one person may find a hug comforting and helpful, but another person may find this triggering and want space to calm themselves while wrapped in a favorite blanket. So asking what helps them best is very important.
Ask If Any Of Your Habits Or Things You Do Stress Them. This is very important as people with anxiety often worry about being a burden to those they care about so they often hold this information back due to not wanting to upset those they care about. The trigger could be a phrase you use or the way you do something. A common one for many people is a touch that surprises them such as someone touching your shoulder before you notice them, but it could be anything.
Avoid Raising You Tone Of Voice. It’s common when we care about someone that has anxiety to get worried about them and raise our voice, but this often triggers anxiety to escalate as anxiety tends to feed on itself. If you have ever been in the room with two anxious people, you will have noticed both get more anxious unless they do something to help them both relax.
Learn Grounding Techniques. Grounding techniques are ways to help someone stay focused on the present moment. So you will ask them questions about what they are sensing right now. For example, “what colors do you notice is this room?” or “can you hear the heater and TV?” or “as you touch the couch, what does the texture feel like?” As you may have guessed from these questions, the key is to use the five senses to have the notice things around them. This is because it is very difficult to focus inward on anxiety and outward on your environment at the same time. If you focus on your environment, the feeling of anxiety lessens. Mindfulness is also a good way of doing this, such as paying attention to details as you do an activity like mindfully eating and noticing the different flavors. These techniques are especially helpful with panic attacks.
I hope this helps you with some ideas on how to support someone you love with their anxiety. If you are feeling stuck or feel the person you care about may need counseling, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person to help you. If you are looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I can help here.