Grief is probably one of the hardest things we cope with in our lives especially when we have more than one loss in a short time span. It can include many things beyond grief over a death such as when we lose a relationship and feel abandoned, in divorce, times when we feel disconnected, or even for some other reasons. We all tend to grieve differently too. Grief often includes intense feelings of sadness, anger, fear, and anxiety. The fear and anxiety usually relate to being afraid of being hurt again.

So How Does Grief Become Traumatic?

Grief can become traumatic when the loss is sudden or shocking. Traumatic grief includes the above as well as trauma symptoms or the emotional distress of numbness, intrusive thoughts (thoughts of the loss when you don’t want to think about it), disbelief, distrust, anger, emptiness, and a sense of futility about the future. Sometimes it may feel as if almost every aspect of your life has been altered in painful ways from how you sleep, eat, socialize, exercise, work, act with your family, or even how you listen to music.

So What Do I Do If I Have This?

Partially, you will grieve from the loss as you usually do, but you will also want to utilize trauma approaches to address the fear and/ or feeling frozen in fear when triggered. Trauma approaches that can help with this are: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT), and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, among others. EMDR and Sensorimotor use a “bottom up” approach (meaning focused on body sensation, movement, or on the five senses rather than thinking). This can be helpful as trauma is often stored in the body as body memories. Trauma is often noticed as body sensations that don’t make sense initially. This helps to begin to self regulate again and reduce stress and tension. This also helps with fight, flight, or freeze reactions too, especially one where you do not know why you are reacting.

I hope this helps you find the right therapist in Eureka. If you are still feeling stuck or have more questions about this, feel free to call me at (707) 954- 7060 for a free 15 minute consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening for you and help direct you to the right person to help you. If you are looking for help with anxiety counseling, depression counseling, or trauma counseling, you can read more about how I help here.